Not enough

Do you ever notice that the roller coaster seems to have more hills and valleys when you're tired? I'm sure noticing that today. I've worked three 12 hours shifts in a row this week. They were rewarding but they were hard and long. Today I sat through some mandatory training.

I. Am. Tired. Exhausted really. I've missed my babies something fierce! Three in a row isn't hard on just me. It's hard on them too. I'm thankful there are some people out there offering us fantastic childcare.

Today I started off having slept well, running on the treadmill and all in all feeling like I was ready to conquer the day. Being still in a chair trying to focus on a subject that doesn't catch my interest is hard though. By the time I got home I was struggling with being frustrated. I realize why I need the class, but it's been beautiful out the last 3 days and I haven't seen my kids. I could've had those 8 hours with them today.

I got home and just felt overwhelmed. Because I've been gone so much this week, the housework has suffered. My "to do" list is growing by leaps and bounds. It's hard to know where to start. Throw in a few hiccups and interactions and suddenly I'm feeling like I'm not enough. I can't seem to keep up. I can't keep up with work. I'm stretched at home trying to keep up the house. The boys have started baseball this week as well. So now we'll be running more. (I'm thankful they're playing)

I try to keep reminding myself that I'm just incredibly tired and that's why I'm struggling with feeling inadequate tonight. What I really want is a glass of wine and time for a good cry.

Take a deep breath. Tomorrow is a new day with an opportunity for a reset.