...what's going to come out of their mouths yet. One thing I love is that we've been able to foster a comfortable environment in which nothing is off limits for conversation with the kids where Daddy is concerned. The unfortunate thing is you never know when something will cross their minds and start a conversation. They're unfiltered. Raw. And completely innocent.
So yesterday on our way home from picking Chase up from doggy daycare, Aidan asks from the backseat, "Mom, when can we get a stepdad. I want a new stepdad." This isn't the first time we've had this conversation. I always tell them it takes time and we won't have a stepdad until God brings us the right person. Well, this time, Avery and Ainsley both chimed in about "I want anudder daddy, mommy!"
Ready or not we had a 15 minute conversation about finding a step daddy. I first off asked Aidan why it was he wanted a step dad. His immediate answer was "so we have someone to play with us". He also went on to mention that then there would be someone to help me around the house, he would be a fix it man and could help fix things when broken and also he would make our family whole again. At age 7 it amazes me what he comes up with on his own because this isn't a topic I bring up. Avery reiterated the same responses when I asked him the same question. He too, would like to have someone to play with and wrestle with and to play baseball with. I learned just how hungry those sweet children are for a male role model in their lives. Breaks my heart. Before Danny was sick he did all sorts of things with those boys and he was always 100% over the top with them. They unfortunately don't remember their daddy health as they were only ages 2 and 3 when he was diagnosed. We discussed that finding a stepdaddy could potentially mean moving to which both boys replied they were excited for that. I asked them what they thought about a step daddy having his own children and whether they would like more brothers and sisters in their family. This question caused them both to think a little bit. They aren't against it but their wheels were turning. Aidan realized that he's always been the oldest in our house (minus when Summer is here) and that that could mean he might not still be the oldest. Avery decided as long as he has boys his age that he can wrestle with he's game for it. Ainsley wasn't left out of the conversation but obviously at this point she isn't able to offer a whole lot of input.
In the end, we discussed the importance of a step-daddy being the one God has chosen to fill the void in our family and that it might be a while before that happens. The boys were also concerned about him liking Chase since Chase was from daddy. They were both reassured that Chase was a gift from Daddy and he wouldn't be going anywhere.
It wasn't a conversation I'd ever set out to have with them. I enjoyed listening to them talk about what they'd been thinking about and how they think this works. As we pulled in the drive the conversation shifted as they all jumped out of the van. And this mama let out a deep breath after just having had a very uncomfortable conversation with her 3 children. I'm sure thankful that God has my steps orchestrated.
No comments:
Post a Comment