Just like in many other homes I'm sure, our house was a little off this morning getting up and going. Ainsley got up but went back to sleep on the couch for a while. We just sort of hung out until Aunt Jo got there. It's always so so nice to see her. It's hard to describe how I feel when she comes. It's just right. I breathe easier, laugh easier. Maybe it's because we both weathered the storm from the front lines, albeit from different perspectives as wife and sister, but we were in those trenches together. We certainly weren't in those trenches alone because we were surrounded by many who fought the battle of supporting us and lifting us up. But we both were privileged to be Danny's caretakers. He sure did love his sister and when she hadn't been to see him for a few days he'd always start asking when she was coming again.
Despite taking life easy today I still feel like it was very productive. I was able to get many more things accomplished than I'd set out to do and I spent time with the kiddos. I don't feel nearly as wound up to race the clock if you will....almost like I'm finally finding my zen, my peace, my tranquility. And yet at the same time, Danny has crossed my mind in reflection multiple times today. While the heartache is still very raw, I am finding that the memories I'm reliving are bringing more smiles than tears. Smiles because I had the opportunity to live them once and can relive them anytime I choose, not tears because I'll never again get to hear that laugh or see that smile. I know he's smiling at us from above.
Aidan prayed tonight to God that Daddy would be having a good time in heaven, I know he's doing exactly that. Even as Ainsley cried tonight at bedtime "I sad at Daddy. I don't like Daddy to die.", I know that we have a Guardian Angel who is very near to us keeping a close eye on us.
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| Mustache fellas |
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| Sleeping Peanut |
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| Summer's prom date |
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