Funny how one minute you can feel on top of the world and the next it feels like that world has crumbled. Shortly after my last blog, Ainsley started crying about how sad she was that Daddy was gone. She's 2 1/2. Sometimes, she tags on to her brother's emotional upset in order to get the extra snuggles. Yet her sadness is real too. Because, like tonight, she randomly starts talking about Daddy and how much she's missing him.
Tonight I'm asking why again. Why do I have to feel so incredbily lonely? It's almost a tangible ache. I'm not looking for intimacy but a big bear hug would be really nice. Something that says I got your back. At the same time I feel wrong for even considering feeling like that or allowing the desire for a hug to exist. It feels like I'm betraying Danny. And so it goes in the cycle of grief.....
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