Shortly after we spent the weekend at Jo's, I had the opportunity to spend an evening with just the boys. Ainsley was staying the night with Mamaw being spoiled. It was super nice to be able to just be with them. It reminded me of the days that it was just "the boys" not "the kids". We did all sorts of things with them in a time when Danny was healthy and well.
This particular evening we spent time riding bikes on various sidewalks playing follow the leader and racing to see who was fastest. When we were done we decided we would walk up to Dairy Queen. On our path to get to ice cream is a headstone memorial business. As we walked past is the boys started to meander through the yard picking out various headstones they thought daddy would like. It was the first time both boys were in agreement about burying Daddy and that they were ready to do it. In the past when we'd had conversations about burying Daddy's ashes it was tough and usually involved tears. So for all of us, we've been most comfortable with Daddy watching us from his dresser. I was a bit caught off guard that now they were ready, because this means that I need to prepare myself as well, and subsequently need to get that ball in motion. We spent time wrapping up that conversation and moved on to getting ice cream. Or so I thought.
As we were walking home, both boys asked again how much longer it would be before they could get a step-daddy. Like I always do, I told them I didn't know what God has in store for us and that we had to be patient. We spent time talking about what they wanted in a new daddy. Aidan said he wanted a daddy that's nice, kind, gentle and will protect all of us. A daddy that will play with them and that isn't too firm or scary. I don't know who our new daddy will be but he's going to have some enormous shoes to fill for these kids. All in God's timing...
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