Independence Day

Shew! Another first. July 4th was never a hugely celebrated holiday in our home because typically either one or both of us were working. Nonetheless, it's still another holiday to get through with the blatant reality that Danny is gone. We did our best to keep super busy and make the most of our day. The kids had been invited to ride the Wapello fire trucks in the Grandview parade. So we headed to Aunt Jo's early Saturday morning. Danny would have been very proud to see his boys sitting up front in the cab throwing candy representing the town that stole his heart. We spent the morning at the parade and playing at Aunt Jo's.

 

Look super close -- there are 2 little blondes on the passenger side of that cab.

 

 

After lunch, we loaded up and headed to the farm to do some four wheeler riding and dirt digging with the Fenstermaker side. We had lots of fun harassing each other and enjoyed a nice family meal together. It was here that the boys started talking about daddy being gone and what they remember about hospice and all they did for us. They were reflecting on how big of a deal they made Christmas for our family. I reminded them that it was a one time deal and this Christmas wouldn't be that way. One of them responded....unless it happens to you. (panic) I assure them it's not going to happen to me and they respond....how do you know? Touché.  Nothing like a dose of your own mortality administered to you by a child. This left me leaving the get together feeling a noticeable empty void.

 

We hustled home to pack and head back to Aunt Jo's. They were doing fireworks and the kids would be staying with her since I had to work Sunday. They were all very tired but excited at the same time to see what Uncle John was going to do. We talked about fireworks and had brought our lanterns to make sure we could include daddy. Avery hopped out of the van and exclaimed, "I sure hope daddy can see the fireworks too!" (gut punch. again. blah.) We sent daddy 2 lanterns and watched as he snatched them up. It always makes us feel better seeing that. The kids enjoyed doing sparklers and watching the big fireworks that Uncle John and James were setting off.

 

As it was time for me to head home the kids got a little emotional. Given they were all super exhausted, but we were all sad too. Daddy left a big hole for them, for all of us. Sometimes when those tears come you just gotta hit pause and snuggle each other up for a while.