Our first holiday without Daddy

Today is Valentine's Day. It's our first holiday without Daddy. Right now I'm feeling thankful that we never put a huge emphasis on this particular holiday. I feel like it's made it a little easier to endure.

The kids were blessed with a HUGE card shower. Holy outpouring of love and support! They were so excited as they opened each card. By the time they were done it looked like Cupid had thrown up all over the floor with pink and red hearts everywhere. It was a fabulous way to start our day off! Summer was even able to be here to participate as well. We sure love it when she's here! We also had a breakfast of homemade waffles using Granny's old waffle maker. Good stuff!

Ainsley was looking
at her blue mouth
in the camera on my
phone. Lots of giggles!

We were distracted briefly this afternoon with a spontaneous invite to a birthday party. Hallelujah for distractions - especially today! The kids were able to play and had lots of fun eating bright blue birthday cake. We all had blue mouths and lips for a good while.

This afternoon I attempted to clean and organize the downstairs. Sounds like a pretty simple task - except that I haven't truly cleaned my house in months. Seriously. (insert embarrassed face here) A clean house just wasn't the priority over the last months of Danny being here. I knew I'd have time later to take care of the dust bunnies and wasn't about to waste the time doing it when we could spend it with him instead. I wish it hadn't been dark by the time I was done because I would've loved to have a picture to capture the 5 minutes it was clean and organized before the cherubs went about their play (on a sugar high mind you).

The evening has been rougher. I've got hyper children who have struggled to listen a good portion of today. I'm full time mom and dad now and sometimes that just wears me out. What I wouldn't give to have Danny here in his healthy days when he was able to help wrangle the parental duties! We ended up with early bedtimes tonight in hopes for a reset tomorrow. (I also drew up chore charts before journaling tonight.)

Evenings are always rough in this house. Things get quiet and your mind drifts. Reflection happens whether you bid it or not. Danny was never a man of many words when it came to romance, but he had a wonderful knack for finding the most beautiful cards and pouring his heart out in them. I'm missing that man tonight - something fierce. Just to be able to snuggle up next to him one more time would be a dream. As Aidan said his prayers tonight he asked God to check on his Dad and make sure he was doing good in heaven.

Happy Valentine's Babe! I love you! My heart is so empty without you here. I'm thankful you're watching over us from above but what I wouldn't give to get just one more hug and to hear a mumbled I love you from you again. The last time you tried to tell me that was the Tuesday before you died. You had just a brief time when you were aware that Ainsley and I were lying next to you and Summer was holding your hand. I tucked you in and kissed your lips. You even were able to kiss me back. You did your best to answer back I love you after I'd said it. Bring us sweet dreams tonight my A
ngel. The kids and I could use it. We're all quite restless and missing you tonight.